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| This page is dedicated to some of the funniest posts you'll find on the this site. If you see a post that you think should be here, shoot an email to webmaster@nighthawkshockey.com.
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Posted by Kris Nelson on May 25, 2003
After every game, I would haul my hockey equipment down to the basement and throw it up on the rack next to my brother's. And every night I did that, my mom would sneak down and put snuggle dryer sheets in my gloves and shin guard so they would cause the grass outside the basement window to turn brown all year round. 
Anyway, it's not the best thing in the world for a defenseman to line up along side a winger for a face-off in the defensive zone and smell "Snuggle Bear Fresh," so I had to put a stop to that in a hurry. I told her that she couldn't do it because it was giving me a rash on my hands or something like that.
That's my story.
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Posted by Kris Nelson on November 4, 2003
Bowling vs. Hockey
Found this old commercial for the NHL on Fox back when Fox tried to cash in on hockey around the '98 olympics or whenever when Team USA put together their "Dream Team" along with Team Canada, and all we got out of it was to hear how Amonte and Roenick trashed some hotel room.  Good ol' role models.
Anyway, here's the commercial. My next search will be for those old Bud Ice commercials with the Penguin. Dub-be-do-be-do.
Fox Commercial (1384KB)
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Posted by Kris Nelson on November 4, 2003
"Priceless" Photo
Everybody knows those "Priceless" commercials from MasterCard, and I'm sure you'll all seen parodies of it all over the web, but I found one that's hockey related, and pretty darn funny.
Priceless Photo
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Posted by Kris Nelson on October 12, 2004
Recent studies have shown that bribing teenagers has been proven more effective in getting them to perform simple tasks than ever before.
This new research overturns previous studies in the last decade that once thought sarcasm, punishment and constant ridicule were the only options.
Now, if I can just find away to get the Berman/Kruszynski/Angarola line off the ice before hitting the two minute mark on their shifts AND having enough $$$ left over for gas to and from the game, we'd be in business. 
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Posted by Frank Nottoli on September 4, 2003
Nighthawk rule #12649-A : Any player who a) touches the puck during a shift or b) believes they touched the puck during a shift shall be rewarded with an assist if a goal should be scored for their team during the aforementioned shift. For a detailed description of "touched the puck", refer to rule # 352178-C.
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Posted by Kris Nelson on February 17, 2003
New Members
Boy, these new members just keep signing up left and right. Check this one out.
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Posted by Frank Nottoli on February 16, 2003
Nighthawks at the Movies
Because I had nothing else I had to be doing last night  , I got together with Spryszack, Novak and Tom and went to go see the new movie "Daredevil". For those of you who might not know (and who might not get to see the movie), Daredevil is a comic book property that revolves around the life of a man named Matt Murdock, who lost his vision as a child during an accident. However, the circumstances of the accident gave him a special radar-like ability which allowed him to fight crime in spite of his blindness. It was a pretty good movie, and it had some pretty cool action in it. Tom was fixated on Jennifer Garner for a while, and the rest of us were getting a little concerned because it seemed sort of unhealthy, but we couldn't blame him (jennifer Garner- Grrrrrrrraaaaawwwwll  ). The movie ended at about 9 o'clock, and since it was still early, we decided to run around Old Orchard and pretend that we were all blind superheroes. There we were, lashing out at things all around us with our eyes closed. I think we should be thankful that the people at Barnes and Nobles didn't ban us for life from their store.
A snowball fight happened in there somewhere, but i can't remember when. Then we grabbed something to eat at that Johnny Rockets or something place, and had fun looking at all the good-looking waitresses in their tight pants. Against my better judgement, we paid for our meals ( we just managed to scrounge up enough cash between the four of us), and lost three good dollars for a tip that I'm beginning to think wasn't necessary. After we left the mall, we decided to go driving around the neighborhood, yelling at people from our car window. There was this one girl (we are kind of pathetic, aren't we) who was unfortunate enough to have to sit next to us at a stop light. Although, she did seem to respond positively to comments such as " I want your body" and other stuff. We were flicked off a couple of times, and this guy gave us a pretty mean look when Spryszack shined a flashlight in his eye while we were at another stoplight. Tim also showed his intellectual side by pointing out to a man on the street that he was an African American. When Midnight rolled around, we started to find where Novak and Toim lived, because it was time to go home. It was a pretty fun night, and I think we're going to do it again next week. An invitation is out for any of you guys who want to join us. Don't worry, nobody will be emarrassed. Not extremely embarrassed anyway. 
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Posted by Frank Nottoli on February 10, 2003
C'mon guys, we need more player profiles here at the website. It will create an opportunity for people get to know us better as people (you know, as opposed to the police reports ). Really guys, if I'm the only one with a profile here, it's going to make me look like a self-centered idiot, and we all know that's only half true. If you can't remember how you started hockey, or don't have an interesting story to tell, make something up, it's not like anyone will notice.
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Posted by Frank Nottoli on January 27, 2003
Misunderstandings
According to a Food Network show that I was watching recently, Pringles are considered to be a potato crisp, not a potato chip. The difference lies in the fact that potato chips are made from potatoes or something, while Pringles are made from compressed potato flakes. I'll let this little typo slide for now, but try to be less ignorant in the future.
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Posted by Kris Nelson on October 15, 2002
Quote of the day...
What one of the referees from Sunday's game told me when I asked him about an icing call.
quote:
"Ya know, you'll live a lot longer if you just coach your team and not worry about my job."
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Posted by Tim Novak on December 29, 2002
Well, technically they dont know they're my best friends, i just kinda follow them around, and watch them with binoculars from the bushes. But they dont seem to mind.
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Posted by Kris Nelson on December 9, 2002
For Sale
For Sale, $0.50
Never been used. Original complementary eye chart included.
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Posted by Frank Nottoli on November 26, 2002
Mystery is Santa Claus!
Wow, looks like I've been making friends with the right people.
Back to the subject at hand, I think I can sum it up in this song- coincidentally sung to the tune of " The twelve days of christmas". Please bear with me:
* Note- before each line, say the words " On the __ day of Christmas, my teammates gave to me....
12th day: 12 Dons a dying ( we all know why)
11th Day: 11 pucks a flying
10th Day: 10 members signing
9th Day: 9 Nighthawks trying
8th Day: 8 opponents crying
7th day: 7 sticks a smilin'
6th Day: 6 penalties serving
5th Day: Fiiiiive more Goose- Eeeeggs
4th Day: 4 Breakouts run
3rd Day: 3 big checks
2nd Day: 2 Ritalin pills
1st Day: and a pa-air of pants for Tim
I have way too much time on my hands
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Posted by Frank Nottoli on November 22, 2002
Great Idea
Hey, since it's the holiday season, we ,as a team, should go around to houses in the neighborhood and sing christmas carol's to get people to come to our games. It would be informative and creative. I'll start us off...
"Come and see the nighthawks pla-ay, fa la la la la, la la la la,
We've got a game on Saturda-ay, fa la la la la, la la la la.
Tim is napping once aga-ain, fa la la, la la la, la la la
Coach gets mad and throws his pe-en, fa la la la la, la la la LAAAA "
(sung to the tune of " Deck the Halls")
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Posted by Frank Nottoli on November 19, 2002
Statisticians
Do these statisticians have to pass a grueling initiation to become nighthawk statesticians? We should only accept the best of the best. Remember the one simple rule for our games: Multiply the number of shots Nottoli faces by 2. Then divide the number of goals Nottoli lets up by three. Plus, he should also get at least one assist during the game. Wait, make it two assists. No, just one. I can't make up my mind.
I'll give you an example:
Nottoli faces 20 shots and lets up 3 goals.
Now, 20 x 2= 40, so Nottoli faced 40 shots.
Then, 3/3= 1, so he only let up one goal ( good job!)
Plus, he was on the ice for one of our goals, so we should give him an assist.
In conclusion, Nottoli stopped 39 of 40 shots, and got an assist.
Wow, that was a great game!
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Posted by Tom Barszcz (JR) on November 14, 2002
News Bears Helmet
Hey i just wanted to show you the new bears helmet.
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Posted by Kris Nelson on October 27, 2002
Suggestion for spreading the word...
I thought I'd chime in here and give you guys a little suggestion on how to spread the word to others about this site. There are two ways I really see as a possibility, to let people know by word of mouth or my sending somebody you know and email about the site.
Here's the first one:
You tell one of your friends about the website. Here's some dialog to help the example:
[You]: "Hello friend. We've known each other for about, oh ... say three days now. Why don't you check out this cool website? It's www.nighthawkshockey.com and it's really cool."
[Friend]: "Sure, whatever. Who are you again?"
Now, later that day, you're friend's girlfriend of two years dumps him for some goalie on a hockey team. He's totally distraught about his loss and completely forgets about the cool website you told him about.
See, now that didn't really work, now did it? Let's continue with this example and see how email can help.
Your friend isn't at school the next day because he was at home crying his eyes out over being dumped. You see him the next day and he asks for your biology notes from the class he missed.
[Opprotunity Knocking].
[You]: "Sure, I'll email them to you. What's your addy?"
[Friend]: Scribbles down email address on the back of a torn piece of paper that looks like it was a flyer for some hockey team. "Thanks."
You notice your friend's eyes are still a little red from crying, so you think to yourself ... 'He should come to one of our games, that would cheer him up.'
You go home and send him the notes from class (for the part you were awake for, anyway). At the end of your email, you just happen mention the website again and suggest he come to this weekend's game. This time, when your friend reads the email, since he's already at a computer, he types in www.nighthawkshockey.com. Your friend is really impressed and [tada] we have a new member, with you having credit for the referral. Ain't it grand.
Now let's say that this friend of yours manages to forget about his girl troubles and shows up for the next homegame (getting the info from the website, of course). You see him sit down in the stands during the warm-up and you give him a nod. You start feeling pretty good about yourself, because you've helped your friend in a time of need (and you helped get another member for the site).
But just before you get set to have a really great game, you see your friend in the stands distracted by something. He spots his ex-girlfriend sitting a few rows down, wearing your away jersey. Uh oh...
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Posted by Kris Nelson on August 26, 2002
What's gonna happen to players with too many penalties
What's gonna happen to players with too many penalties
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Posted by Frank Nottoli on July 15, 2002
What!?!?
You need a GPA to work at McDonald's?crap. I better start studying.
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Posted by Kris Nelson on August 28, 2002
Pick a caption...
1) Complained to coach about not getting enough ice time
2) Got too many stupid penalties
3) Misunderstood what doing sideboards meant
4) On his way to becoming the zamboni driver for the next NHL All-Star Game
Feel free to add your own.
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Posted by Kris Nelson on September 12, 2002
quote:
Originally posted by Nottoli
...the people in my public speaking class gave me a look as if I needed to be committed or something...
I often feel that way about goalies sometimes, too. I think it's a normal reaction.
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Posted by Frank Nottoli on September 12, 2002
On the first day of school, I think a piece of roofing came down in one of the rooms on the first floor. But don't worry, I wasn't hurt . Then, My first assignment in my public speaking class was to bring in three things that defined me. The first thing I could think of was Gamey. So monday through wednsday, I strolled down the hallways with my stick that had a name and who had a smiley face on the blade. I also taped up the paddle and wrote NIGHTHAWKSHOCKEY.COM across it. I was amazed at how many people knew what his name was( people who hadn't even met him before). Of course, the people in my public speaking class gave me a look as if I needed to be committed or something. I guess they haven't seen a goalie stick before.
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Posted by Frank Nottoli on July 8, 2002
A Question
Hey Kris, it seems like every couple of days or so, the website is down and it is having server problems. At this point I usually lock myself in a dark room, sit in the fetal position and cry for a couple of hours or so . Since it happens so frequently, I was wondering if everything is okay with the website or ( just in general) what was going on.
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Posted by Frank Nottoli on August 27, 2002
WOW
Did I just see a new member actually making a post? This is amazing- today is a lucky day for nighthawks.com members.Wait, is that a one-hundred dollar bill I see on the floor under my computer table? Why yes it is! Excuse me, someone is knocking at the door. ... Oh, Hello Mr. Wirtz....... Yes, I would like to start in goal for the Blackhawks.......what, just sign where?..... Thank you so much. Forgive me, where are my manners? Mr. Wirtz, do you want some Doritos?.... Oh well, then I guess I'll see you on monday. Bye.
Yep, it is a special day for Nighthawks.com members.
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Nighthawks at the Movies
Mystery is Santa Claus!
Great Idea
. You know that bank pass drill we run in practice? I saw Scott and other people run it pretty well during the game. But our forwards need to realize that the rink is bigger than they think. Yes, my friends, the ice does go beyond the face-off circles in the offensive zone. Also, if you look closely, there is an area between the boards and our blueline we Nighthawks like to call the "defensive zone" 
Pick a caption...